I’ve been married for years and years to the same woman … why do men find it awkward to walk into lingerie shops and ask, the usually gorgeous assistant, for a matching set of silk underwear?

I walked passed the local lingerie shop door three times, this must have made me look like a real pervert – striding in with confidence would have been better than being the meek, furtive middle aged bloke with a slight flush to his cheeks, no eyebrows would have been raised if I had done that.

After being shown unsuitable items of underwear which comprised of only two silk ribbons about a quarter of an inch thick with no instructions or idea where they went or what they were supposed to cover, I be came positive and said, ” Those look really pretty.” I took charge. The assistant was trying to be accommodating, thinking I wanted to dress my wife up as some sort of Barbie Doll, this wasn’t my stratagem, I wanted to give the illusion of being thoughtful and not a perv.

I had already primed myself with all the answers to the inevitable question, which was again accompanied by another raised eyebrow “What sizes is she?” I again assertively gave the correct replies.

Here is some advise on how to get the correct sizing information:

1. It is ‘safe’ to ask the woman in your life her bra size. Most women will not spit out the answer straight into you face – even if they are not happy with their breasts they are not as touchy about them as they are about their rear end……..
2. Under no circumstances should you ask them their knicker size! You will without a doubt get an answer like, “Yes I know I’ve got a fat arse.” It is easier to hunt through her knicker drawers and find the pair she always seems to wear (this is usually the faded pair) and read the label and extract the appropriate details from it – you can be confident that she feels comfortable in that size.

I chose a set that I thought looked good and I felt 70% sure my wife would like too. The assistant beautifully wrapped and packed the delicate offerings and they were now ready for her birthday…fingers were crossed.

Below is an extract from her blog – I think I did alright.

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Eek! One year older, which I dealt with by buying some Estee Lauder Future Perfect – will let you know the results. But I had wonderful day and some fab presents: a stunning deck chair for lolling in the sun reading novels (ha ha), some oil pastels as I feel inspired to paint the sea view, and some gorgeous underwear. And a new purse to stuff my birthday cash into!
Thank you, mum and dad and boys xxxx

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Thankfully I had got everything right, sizes, colour, material etc. so everything passed by without a hitch – Thank You God!

An afterthought:

It must be great fun being married to a woman who owns a lingerie store…